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Politically Incorrect
Transcript of Interview
Bill: Let us meet our panel.
He is a former prosecutor and the co-host of CNN's "Burden of
Proof," Roger Cossack.
Roger?
[ Applause ]
Hey, how are you, Roger?
Good to see you.
He's the chairman of Citizens United and the co-editor of "Say
the Right Thing," straight out of Compton, Floyd Brown.
[ Applause ]
Hey, Floyd, how are you, buddy?
Good to see you.
Sundays at 10:00, she's a French superspy on "La Femme Nikita," Peta Wilson.
[ Cheers and applause ]
They love you.
Thank you.
Peta: Hello.
Bill: And Mondays at 8:00, he's Brooke Shields' boss on
"Suddenly Susan," Judd Nelson, right over here.
[ Cheers and applause ]
They love you, too.
How are you?
Okay.
All right, I wanted to get to this issue.
We mentioned very briefly at the end of last week.
But I thought it was something that deserves to be mentioned, and
certainly on the day of the father of our country's birth,
because it goes to freedom in this nation.
Alabama -- I heard someone in the audience say they were from
Montgomery, Alabama, before the show.
Well, I'm sure you are aware of the law down there that has
caused quite an uproar that says a woman cannot buy a vibrator.
[ Laughter ]
They passed a law that said, "Any obscene material or any device
designed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs."
[ Laughter ]
Judd: See, that's why they don't have a professional football
team in Alabama.
[ Laughter ]
Bill: I don't follow your logic, sir.
[ Laughter ]
Judd: You guys know.
Michael Irvin, okay.
Roger: I thought you were absolutely right when you said that.
Floyd: So, Bill, do I understand from you saying this that you
don't think a community has a right to set standards?
Bill: Standards?
I don't think any community has a right to outlaw how they're
gonna have sex.
Peta: Well, next there will be castration for the women.
I mean, really.
A little bit of fun.
Floyd: I think, you know, about four blocks from my kid's
elementary school, a big huge sex store opens.
It's called Castle Super Sex Store.
Roger: Wait a minute.
That's not what they're talking about here.
They're not talking about that.
Floyd: And so, now I've seen my community pulled down because
this huge, mega sex facility went in, right near my kid's school.
I think a community -- I'm not so sure I support state laws, but
I think a community, like the community I live in, has a right to
keep those smut shops out if they want to.
Bill: But this is not a smut shop.
This, you know, it started as a law to outlaw strip clubs, and then
this got inserted, no pun intended.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
Floyd: But you don't buy dildos at --
Bill: I do.
[ Laughter ]
Floyd: Maybe you do, but you don't --
[ Laughter ]
You don't buy them at just a local department store.
These are sex shops.
Judd: Unfortunately.
[ Laughter ]
Floyd: These are sex shops.
Judd: You have to go to those freak stores to get them.
I don't know.
Very uncomfortable.
Bill: You're saying Sears could do a good business if they would give --
[ Laughter ]
Floyd: Listen --
Bill: They've already got the big batteries.
[ Laughter ]
Judd: I mean, I think that we're trying to keep government out
of our lives.
And I think this is another insertion of government into our lives.
[ Laughter ]
Floyd: I think this community point is really important.
Because you could always buy a dildo in the big city.
And you could always go --
[ Laughter ]
You could always --
Bill: "Dildo in the Big City."
Remember that album?
Floyd: You could always get them.
I mean, what people do in their own bedrooms is their own business.
I really don't want to regulate it.
But as a small town or a community, I think we have a right to
set our own standards.
And if we want to keep --
Peta: You disagree with his point.
Floyd: Sex shops out, we should be allowed to.
Roger: Perhaps about where you -- wait, wait, wait.
But that's not what he's talking about.
Perhaps where you sell them you have a right to decide that.
But certainly not -- you can't decide that a product like this is no good.
It has to have some sort of a rational reason.
I mean --
Peta: As the woman sitting here.
As the woman, because it is a thing that's addressed to women.
Bill: Yes, it is.
Roger: That's the equal protection part.
Peta: Yeah, I have to say that, you know, your thing's on the
outside, okay?
[ Laughter ]
Our thing's on the inside.
So you can stroke and do all kinds of things you need.
We might need a toy or two, now and again.
Roger: Or two?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Peta: I do think that -- I think a lot of women will probably
leave the state of Alabama, because reality is it relieves stress.
It relieves pressure.
And it's terrible that there are smut shops.
But in the department stores, you can get these little massagers
for pressure points, and they work just as well.
[ Laughter ]
You don't really need to go to these hard-core stores.
But I think to rule it out of the country, I mean, we're about to
enter the millennium.
There are other things.
And relief of tension, wouldn't it make a better married life?
If you're not giving it to your wife.
She can go to the store, get a little bit, keep her happy and
keep the marriage going.
[ Applause ]
Roger: I was gonna say that, you know, I had the opportunity
to talk about this with Greta before I came out here.
She feels the same way that Peta does, that this is the kind of
thing that women should have the opportunity to get whenever they
want and wherever they want.
Bill: Well, here's what's disturbing to me about it.
The Alabama assistant attorney general defended it by saying, and
I quote, he said, "This is a case of the power of the legislature
to prohibit the sale of the products it deems harmful."
And that -- see, the Republicans, they always slip up.
They slip up.
They don't mean to say it's about sex, but that's -- they think
it's harmful.
It's harmful to have sex and have chicks enjoying it.
That's really what this is about.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Peta: Toys, you know, like children enjoy toys.
You go to a toy store.
Adults like toys as well.
Women, we like a nice toy.
Judd: Bill, can you buy a gun in Alabama?
Bill: Can you buy a gun, it's unlawful not to have a gun.
Judd: Exactly.
[ Laughter ]
Isn't a gun harmful?
Bill: You just can't put it in your thing.
Anyway --
[ Laughter ]
Floyd: You know why this is such --
Roger: It's the unlawful purpose.
It's the unlawful purpose.
That's why they were able to outlaw roach clips.
I don't know what they are.
But --
[ Laughter ]
Bill: I don't either.
Roger: That's why they were able to outlaw those kinds of things.
But you can't just -- 'cause there was an unlawful purpose for that.
This isn't an unlawful purpose.
The day that they legislate -- the day that lawyers get together
and legislate how you have sex is gonna be a sad, sad day.
Floyd: Don't get me wrong, I don't want to do that.
And I don't we can legislate what people do in their own
bedrooms, but I think communities have a right to keep sex shops out.
But you know why this is a big Hollywood issue?
It's a big Hollywood issue because there was a recent study that
said that Christian women in normal homes get a lot more orgasms
than other women.
[ Laughter ]
And in Hollywood -- in Hollywood, maybe there aren't enough
traditional families.
[ Laughter ]
Bill: All right.
Well, we have to take a break, but we'll look for that study.
I'm sure it's --
Announcer: Join us tomorrow when our guests will be --
D.L. Hughley, Alexander Chaplin, Kelly Hu and Cyndi Mosteller.
[ Applause ]
Bill: All right, it is Washington's birthday.
And as every Washington's birthday, they write a lot about him.
This year, they've been writing a lot about his slaves.
One of them apparently claims that Bill Clinton used a sex
machine to show her his penis.
No.
[ Laughter ]
What they're saying is, how come a guy who basically said,
believed in the Declaration of Independence and that all men are
created equal, and the pursuit of liberty is one of life's
pleasures, how could he own as many slaves as he did, and,
therefore, isn't the guy who's known for never telling a lie one
of the people who basically has founded this nation as a nation of lies?
Judd: No.
I think that this nation is founded upon ideals of a best way to
conduct oneself in a society.
We don't know how the city-states of Athens and Sparta really did
their thing, but we take the best of it, the ideal of what it should be.
And I think our founding fathers tried their best, given what they knew then.
Bill: Right.
Judd: And they were wrong in many, many, many areas, but the
ideals, that which they strived to make this country be, I believe in.
Bill: They knew what slavery was.
I mean, you know, I used the think that, too.
That they didn't know.
They were old people back then.
They just had no idea.
[ Laughter ]
And I've read about it.
No, they struggled with this.
And it was the original "It's the economy, stupid" issue.
Roger: No, you're right.
Bill: The economy was good.
Let's not rock the boat.
Roger: They did know, and there's no way of getting around it.
But the question really is, as I suppose, is, look, they were wrong.
I mean, it's not even worth debating.
They were wrong.
But what they did also do is they constructed the Constitution,
which allowed us to progress.
And as we got smarter and we got more understanding, we said,
"Let's get rid of this slavery."
And that's obviously the right thing to do.
But they were wrong.
There's just nothing you can defend.
Judd: But they gave us the tools to fix where they were wrong.
You know what I mean?
Like they gave us the Constitution, even though they were wrong,
they gave us the method, the methodology that we can use over the
next 200 years to make it better.
Bill: But when you build a house on a huge chasm, isn't that
house going to crumble eventually?
I mean, if you build a house on this structure, this beautiful
structure they wrote, about all men being created equal, at the
same time these very men were holding slaves.
Roger: Yeah, but it's not built on slavery.
It's built on the Constitution.
Judd: Right.
Roger: And that's why it grows.
It's not built on slavery.
Bill: Well, it was built on both.
Roger: And that's right.
And as we progressed, you know, we did away with that horrible --
well, we tried -- we've done away with that horrible institution.
Bill: Well --
Floyd: And that doesn't mean the whole country was based on
lies and that our founding fathers are liars.
I mean, I have a tremendous amount of respect and admiration for
George Washington.
I consider him one of the most virtuous men in our history.
He did an excellent book of virtues that was one of the first
gifts I gave to my son, a list of a lot of great platitudes that
I think all of us would be better people if we lived by.
Bill: And you can't get that at that sex shop down the street.
[ Laughter ]
From the school, I'm guessing.
[ Applause ]
Floyd: I think, Bill --
Bill?
Your question has in it, in your question lies, I think, one of
the great lies of modern history.
And that is, a lot of the current politicians, probably in our
White House right now, have tried to pull down the founding
fathers as an attempt to boost themselves.
You know?
They try to say, oh, Thomas Jefferson had affairs and all these
other guys, you know, did this and that.
That's all Bill Clinton's simple attempt to try and make himself
look better.
[ Laughter ]
Peta: I'm sorry.
Was Jefferson God?
Were these human beings superhuman beings?
Bill: Yeah.
Peta: Because the man and Adam, everyone makes mistakes.
So if the man has an affair or likes to cross-dress or whatever he does --
Bill: What have you heard?
[ Laughter ]
Peta: I'm not talking about Clinton.
Bill: Cross-dressing?
Wait --
Peta: I'm talking about Hoover.
I'm talking about many great men.
Bill: Hoover, yes, you're right.
Peta: I'm talking about many big American men.
Bill: Right.
Roger: You're right.
Peta: And I think the reality is that --
I'm not -- I don't know enough.
But now you've overwhelmed me.
[ Laughter ]
No, I think that basically --
Bill: But it's interesting that you knew that.
That you're not of this country, obviously.
Peta: No.
Bill: From your accent.
So you have no reason that you should have studied American history.
But you knew that Hoover was into panty shields.
Peta: Yes.
[ Laughter ]
No, but the thing that I was sort of trying to say --
Floyd: And most of this is rumormongering.
It really doesn't have a fabric of truth.
You know even these -- even those so-called dna tests on
Jefferson have subsequently been put into question.
Bill: So the ones on Bill Clinton, they're valid.
The ones on --
[ Laughter ]
Peta: I think Bill Clinton's mild.
Bill: The ones of his sperm --
Judd: On Weezie Jefferson, those aren't valid.
Peta: I think he's mild in comparison.
I think he's mild in comparison to, you know, some of the great
presidents of this country, you know, one being Kennedy, who
was a very naughty boy.
Now I think the reality is they're very strong men and they can
handle the big country.
And then all of a sudden they need to do something else.
So don't think that you should --
Bill: And they need someone to handle their big country.
Peta: That's right.
[ Laughter ]
Bill: We gotta take a commercial.
Bill: All right.
It's Washington's birthday.
Certainly, one of the founding amendments is our second
amendment, which allows everyone to have as many guns as they want.
Floyd: My favorite amendment.
Bill: I know it is.
Floyd: That's why I have a closet full of guns.
Bill: Did you see that women on the news --
Peta: You have a closet full of guns?
Floyd: I do.
Peta: Oh!
Bill: Well, that's the problem is that people have a closet
full of guns, their kids get into it, take guns and shoot people.
And then other folks get mad at this.
I don't know what their problem is.
Peta: If you can have guns why can't your wife have dildos.
Floyd: My guns are all locked up.
They're all in a case.
Double-keyed.
My kids can't get to them.
Bill: Yeah, but the kids did get to them in Jonesboro, Arkansas.
They stole the grandfather's guns.
Judd: We're back in the South, aren't we?
Bill: We're back in the South.
[ Laughter ]
And --
Floyd: None of the rest of you own guns?
Not one of you owns a gun?
Bill: I'm not against owning a gun.
A gun.
Peta: I work with them every day.
I hold them.
I play with them.
And I think that they're terribly evil and for people who don't
have big penises.
That's what I think.
[ Cheers ]
I'm sorry.
That's how I feel.
I'm sorry.
I just think that guns -- I understand that we survived without
guns and we had guns and there were many wars and many people died.
And I think that guns are very dangerous.
And I think they should be in the hands of the law and in the
hands soldiers.
Floyd: But you know what?
Actually, in the hands of soldiers is where most of the wars happened.
In the hands of politicians and at the hands of politicians is
how most people die.
Let's face it.
When you have people like Stalin and Hitler, that's governments.
Bill: I know.
Floyd: That's armies.
Bill: Right.
Floyd: And she says that's who should have the guns.
I think if you want to protect yourself against those, you want
the citizens to have guns.
Bill: But, Floyd, let me tell you --
Peta: In my country, if you own a gun and you don't have a
paper for that, you better be someone good to have a paper, and
you're found with a gun, you're in jail for ten years.
Floyd: Thank goodness I am free.
Peta: We don't have many --
Floyd: That's why I love this country.
I am so free!
[ Scatter boos ]
I can own a gun!
I wouldn't -- you wouldn't want to live in a police state, where
some government bureaucrat wanted me to fill out all these forms
so I could own a gun.
Bill: You're free because --
Peta: I'm so sorry that you're so frightened that you need so many guns.
Floyd: I am so glad.
Peta: I think a bit more hope in the people of the world --
Bill: And you think you're free.
[ Applause ]
Floyd: You know who I'm frightened of?
I'm frightened of the government.
It's the government that sends the young men off to war to die.
It's the government that's killed -- if you look at history it is
governments, kings, monarchs who have killed a whole lot more
people than private citizens owning guns.
Bill: Okay.
But, Floyd --
Floyd: Many, many more.
Bill: Let me tell you, if the government decides to come after
you with their nuclear weapons and attack helicopters, your
closet full of guns really isn't going to matter a lot, is it, Floyd?
[ Laughter ]
Roger: But Floyd was saying he should have a nuclear weapon.
That's what you would say, right?
Floyd: You know --
Roger: Why couldn't you have a nuclear weapon?
Floyd: Frankly, I'm a hunter.
I love to go out --
Bill: Killing things.
Floyd: I shot a moose.
Peta: Oh!
Floyd: I shot a moose in British Columbia a couple of years ago.
Judd: Was he armed?
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
Floyd: He was armed with a great big pair of horns.
Peta: How would you like to be hunted?
Bill: Yeah.
Peta: How would you like that?
Judd: By you?
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Laughter ]
Bill: Right, okay.
But first of all, also, you think you're free because your tastes
happen, by luck, to align with the tastes that the government has
legislated is okay.
In other words, you like to have a scotch at the end of the day.
That's legal.
You like to hunt.
You like the things that happen to be legal.
That doesn't mean it's a free country.
Second of all, this is not even the issue we were going to talk about.
The issue was --
[ Laughter ]
In Jonesboro, Arkansas, this woman, whose kid was killed, is
saying that parents should be responsible if their kids break in
and steal the guns of the parents and do damage with them.
Judd: Absolutely they should be.
Peta: Absolutely.
[ Applause ]
Bill: And the NRA is fighting it.
Of course.
Floyd: If you have your guns locked up and someone -- I mean,
in the Jonesboro case, what happened?
It wasn't the parents, it was the grandfather.
He broke into the house, burglarized.
Bill: Hey --
Floyd: If somebody has their guns burglarized from them and
then the burglar, whether it's a relative or not, goes out and
commits a crime, you can't hold that person responsible.
What if your car was stolen?
Somebody drives down the street, running through town, and hits somebody?
Are you responsible for your car hitting somebody?
Bill: If you leave --
Peta: But you are, aren't you?
You have insurance to make you responsible.
Floyd: But are you responsible?
Roger: But listen, you're clearly responsible if you leave a
weapon, like a gun, in a place where it's reasonable to believe
there's young people around who might take that gun and shoot somebody.
[ Talking at once ]
Bill: My father used to lock up his "Playboys."
I got to them.
[ Laughter ]
We have to take another commercial.
Judd: But your need for a "Playboy" was far greater than your need --
Bill: All right.
I'm getting all misty 'cause Floyd just told me his 13-year-old
just got his first gun.
And, you know, junior's first gun.
Anyway, tomorrow, we're gonna have D.L. Hughley, Alexander
Chaplin, Kelly Hu and Cyndi Mosteller.
You have been a fabulous panel.
May I congratulate you?
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